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SlowlyReading's avatar

It would be interesting to hear from younger, recently & happily married Christian guys on "what worked." Old guys like myself have no idea what it is like out there.

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Mr Black Fox's avatar

I agree with Aaron that there many high quality Christian women in America who would make good wives. That said, many of these high quality women wait too long before getting serious about marriage as a life goal. I live in NYC where these women suddenly wake up in their early 30s.

Dating and courtship markets among devout Christians are very thin when it comes down to it. Many Christians don’t realize that finding a match who they find attractive, and shares their Christian denomination and worldview is not a straightforward process in the age that we live in. I have seen many men and women reject excellent matches for lack of a vague “spark” or some other arbitrary reasons.

I’m an unmarried practicing Catholic man who knows many pious and attractive single women. That said, these women (and men in the Catholic community) don’t act fast to land a match in their 20s. Many young people take their time to open themselves to serious relationships. Lots of safe group hangouts over betrothals and young marriages.

These devout young people many times puzzle over why they are single but don’t acknowledge how closed their hearts are. The culture we live in reinforces a “slow life” strategy where young people are encouraged to find themselves and be wary of marriage and commitment before age 30 (see Jean Twenge’s new book “Generations”).

We shouldn’t be surprised that American men and women across different Christian denominations are finding it hard to find a match in an age that lauds individual autonomy, self-exploration and a market-based/transactional approach to social relationships.

Christians in America shouldn’t expect marriages to “just happen” like they did in the past. The current laissez-faire model no longer works in the negative world.

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