Welcome to my weekly digest for July 27, 2023, with the best articles from around the web and a roundup of my recent writings and appearances. Swiping and Dating Preferences Rob Henderson wrote up some analysis
I'm surprised the MI Advance gave you a quote. The writer doesn't seem to be nuts, but if you were on the editor, Susan Demas' radar, I'd be shocked you would he allowed to appear. She was a reporter so ideological she was chased away from other outlets and destroyed a non-partisan Capitol gossip outlet. Sadly, I have zero hope for Detroit or Michigan as a whole, because our government is now run in the angry ideological crusade mode of Demas, rather than even a halfway-competent Chicago machine mode.
The Henderson article was a good read with interesting information in it. Chivalrous blind spot alert: there are as many Dark Triad females as males. They are equally abusive and destructive. They get that way from the same causes. The females may be more effective at what they do because they operate in a society with default general assumptions of female innocence or harmlessness.
Given that women are biologically programmed to prefer monogamy though, Dark Triad females can't explain the collapse in dating, although it can explain the many men stuck in miserable relationships.
I do not believe women are biologically programmed to prefer monogamy. Most human societies have not been monogamous, and in the post-sexual revolution era in which we've provided essentially unlimited female choice in relationships, we saw a precipitous decline in monogamy.
Maybe monogamy is too strong a term, but you can get an idea of relative female preferences in promiscuity by examining the average number of sexual partners of homosexual men vs the average number for heterosexual men and lesbians (both of whom require consent of a female). Homosexual men, who are not fettered by female preferences, have a vastly higher number of sexual partners. If it wasn't for women providing a handbrake, heterosexuals would also be much more promiscuous.
The prominent fact about Dark Triad personalities of either sex is that they lack the restraints of normal programming. That deficit makes them very effective at preying upon people with normal operating systems. The author in that section hypothesized a ripple effect of negative relationship behavior radiating out through people originally abused by only the male half of a malevolent subset of humanity. The general idea of this ripple effect has merit, but it was put on too short a leash at its beginning.
Your example of men stuck in miserable relationships with Dark Triad women lines up well enough. Most of those relationships will end. Those men will then seek out others, because they are “biologically programmed” to bond with females. We would expect the past abuse to affect future behavior…and that behavior to then affect those they intersect with.
If I recall correctly, this part of the article was aimed at the alleged minority of people who are using “online dating” as an initial mate selection filter. Nothing that he or I might say about a presumed minority of the population would explain an alleged decline of dating in the population as a whole. I can’t credit the idea that there is a net dating decline in the general population, but that’s another discussion.
That John Piper piece really nails it. Whenever a Big Eva leader starts complaining about the fundies, its to provide cover while he moves left on significant doctrines. It carries the implication that your opponents are cousin-marrying snake handlers. Only a tiny minority of evangelicals refer to themselves as fundamentalists and in my opinion, to apply that label to anyone else is a slur. While I don't call myself a fundamentalist, I do strive to unambiguously confess the fundamental doctrines of Christianity and live according to them.
“If you don’t date conservative (or “moderate”—a joke I’ve heard is that any man who calls themselves a moderate on the dating apps is a Republican) men, you’ll probably be on the dating apps for a long time.”
As someone who used Hinge in a big major city, I’m glad I am not the only one who has come across this phenomenon, although I’d like to add most of those girls who said it definitely referenced it in a playful/flirty way.
I'm surprised the MI Advance gave you a quote. The writer doesn't seem to be nuts, but if you were on the editor, Susan Demas' radar, I'd be shocked you would he allowed to appear. She was a reporter so ideological she was chased away from other outlets and destroyed a non-partisan Capitol gossip outlet. Sadly, I have zero hope for Detroit or Michigan as a whole, because our government is now run in the angry ideological crusade mode of Demas, rather than even a halfway-competent Chicago machine mode.
The Henderson article was a good read with interesting information in it. Chivalrous blind spot alert: there are as many Dark Triad females as males. They are equally abusive and destructive. They get that way from the same causes. The females may be more effective at what they do because they operate in a society with default general assumptions of female innocence or harmlessness.
Given that women are biologically programmed to prefer monogamy though, Dark Triad females can't explain the collapse in dating, although it can explain the many men stuck in miserable relationships.
I do not believe women are biologically programmed to prefer monogamy. Most human societies have not been monogamous, and in the post-sexual revolution era in which we've provided essentially unlimited female choice in relationships, we saw a precipitous decline in monogamy.
Maybe monogamy is too strong a term, but you can get an idea of relative female preferences in promiscuity by examining the average number of sexual partners of homosexual men vs the average number for heterosexual men and lesbians (both of whom require consent of a female). Homosexual men, who are not fettered by female preferences, have a vastly higher number of sexual partners. If it wasn't for women providing a handbrake, heterosexuals would also be much more promiscuous.
The prominent fact about Dark Triad personalities of either sex is that they lack the restraints of normal programming. That deficit makes them very effective at preying upon people with normal operating systems. The author in that section hypothesized a ripple effect of negative relationship behavior radiating out through people originally abused by only the male half of a malevolent subset of humanity. The general idea of this ripple effect has merit, but it was put on too short a leash at its beginning.
Your example of men stuck in miserable relationships with Dark Triad women lines up well enough. Most of those relationships will end. Those men will then seek out others, because they are “biologically programmed” to bond with females. We would expect the past abuse to affect future behavior…and that behavior to then affect those they intersect with.
If I recall correctly, this part of the article was aimed at the alleged minority of people who are using “online dating” as an initial mate selection filter. Nothing that he or I might say about a presumed minority of the population would explain an alleged decline of dating in the population as a whole. I can’t credit the idea that there is a net dating decline in the general population, but that’s another discussion.
That John Piper piece really nails it. Whenever a Big Eva leader starts complaining about the fundies, its to provide cover while he moves left on significant doctrines. It carries the implication that your opponents are cousin-marrying snake handlers. Only a tiny minority of evangelicals refer to themselves as fundamentalists and in my opinion, to apply that label to anyone else is a slur. While I don't call myself a fundamentalist, I do strive to unambiguously confess the fundamental doctrines of Christianity and live according to them.
“If you don’t date conservative (or “moderate”—a joke I’ve heard is that any man who calls themselves a moderate on the dating apps is a Republican) men, you’ll probably be on the dating apps for a long time.”
As someone who used Hinge in a big major city, I’m glad I am not the only one who has come across this phenomenon, although I’d like to add most of those girls who said it definitely referenced it in a playful/flirty way.