The difference between an amateur woodworker and a professional is that when they receive a compliment, the amateur points out all the mistakes, and the professional just says “thank you”.
Dr Jordan Cooper, in one of his etiquette videos, remarks that men receive compliments much more rarely than women do, and so often react to them clumsily. I can actually remember the first time I got a compliment from a girl my age who wasn't a family member. I was 16. She told me my new haircut was "nice". I was so flabbergasted that I seriously wondered for a moment if she was pulling my leg. I don't know if I even replied. I should, of course, have said a gracious "thank you"!
When people compliment my pick up, I invariably tell them it was a salvage vehicle we paid cash for. Both facts are true, but I guess I could just say, "Thanks." Haha. I'm full blooded Dutch Midwesterner.
I used to downgrade the compliments, Midwestern style. But I realized that when doing so, you are generally sending one of two messages to the person giving the compliment: (1) "you're wrong" or (2) "I want you to keep saying nice things, so I'll denigrate what you said so you shower me with more compliments." Neither message is one that I want to send to someone who took time to be specifically kind to me.
Now my default response is to smile and say, "Thank you. That is very kind of you to say."
I implemented this (fully) a year ago. Gotta say. It's much better. The self deprecating thing is self indulgent. It feels like you are doing the right thing in that moment, but there is something very disingenuous about it.
The difference between an amateur woodworker and a professional is that when they receive a compliment, the amateur points out all the mistakes, and the professional just says “thank you”.
Dr Jordan Cooper, in one of his etiquette videos, remarks that men receive compliments much more rarely than women do, and so often react to them clumsily. I can actually remember the first time I got a compliment from a girl my age who wasn't a family member. I was 16. She told me my new haircut was "nice". I was so flabbergasted that I seriously wondered for a moment if she was pulling my leg. I don't know if I even replied. I should, of course, have said a gracious "thank you"!
Lots of truth to that too.
As a veteran, I've learned to respond to "thank you for your service" with a simple "you're welcome."
Yeah, I appreciate this advice. It keeps it from being false humility or self-degradation and just takes the statement at face value.
Thank you.
When people compliment my pick up, I invariably tell them it was a salvage vehicle we paid cash for. Both facts are true, but I guess I could just say, "Thanks." Haha. I'm full blooded Dutch Midwesterner.
Thanks for this advice.
Looks like the book is already unavailable at that discounted price!
I used to downgrade the compliments, Midwestern style. But I realized that when doing so, you are generally sending one of two messages to the person giving the compliment: (1) "you're wrong" or (2) "I want you to keep saying nice things, so I'll denigrate what you said so you shower me with more compliments." Neither message is one that I want to send to someone who took time to be specifically kind to me.
Now my default response is to smile and say, "Thank you. That is very kind of you to say."
I implemented this (fully) a year ago. Gotta say. It's much better. The self deprecating thing is self indulgent. It feels like you are doing the right thing in that moment, but there is something very disingenuous about it.