I think there's a typo in Thesis #5 - you state "Marriage also destroys social capital . . . ", but I think you mean "Divorce also destroys social capital . . . ."

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That quote on "the pain box" - hits like a lightning bolt between the eyes.

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Feb 13Liked by Aaron M. Renn

Very much appreciate this succinct summary of all the valid reasons marriage is desirable, in this day and age, and perhaps especially in this day and age. That society does not emphasize the value of marriage is a real problem. Schools don’t, media doesn’t, government rushes resources to the victims of failed or non marital homes, and even churches contort themselves not to advocate for it. As a woman who has been married for over 50 years, I am old enough to remember when marriage was looked at as a positive goal. My social circle includes many happily long married couples. Not one of them would trade the long term joy and stability of marriage for the nightmare of lonely single hood. Kudos to you for spelling it out and I hope your article gets wide circulation. Young people are being deceived by promises of perpetual party life. And you are right. If marriage is going to happen, men and women have to be serious and intentional about it.

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Aaron, if you're looking for a way to improve your fitness and gym doesn't work for you, I'm going to recommend looking into F3. I see there's a group that meets in Carmel.


My experience with it has been great and I'm currently in the best shape I've been in since my early 20s (now in my late 30s). It's normally a mix of bodyweight exercises and running. Being with other men and doing a different workout every time keeps things interesting and provides accountability.

I can't vouch for the culture in every local group, but the culture here is only a bit macho and always highly supportive of those struggling to keep up.

The NYT did a write-up on F3 a few months ago. I expected to read that it was a proto-fascist training camp (being a Christian organization of largely white men, surely a highly Trump-leaning demographic) but to my astonishment the article was unreservedly positive.


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I concur wholeheartedly on these ten thesis. I believe that we have done men and women a disservice regarding marriage. I would add that we have also very much let them down in the arena of maturing them appropriately to their biology. Now if there is truth to earlier sexual maturing of kids we might have a problem, but my grandparents and great grandparents were prepared to marry by mid teens and their marriages held. I believe that we should be preparing kids to marry by late teens and not having an expectation of extended childhood of play into the 20s and 30s. It stands to reason that if the body is signaling hormonally and otherwise to have kids, then we should be preparing them emotionally, relationally, and spiritually to take on that role.

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